SEPARATION ANXIETY

 Every fall the scene repeats itself, a lone child screaming and inconsolable, every day for the first few weeks of school. Not only is that child deeply distressed, but he disrupts the teacher and increases the anxiety of all of his classmates as they too attempt to adjust to this new situation. For your child’s benefit and everyone else’s with whom he comes into contact with, please read and put into practice the following suggestions which make the transition from home to school much easier. By taking a few simple steps you can take control and relieve your child’s anxiety.

 1) Understand that you and other family members may unknowingly feed your child’s anxiety. When family members are anxious about a child’s school situation, it will transfer to your child. Children naturally pick up on bits and pieces of adult conversations, so remain calm (or appear to be so) and choose your words carefully when discussing school within earshot of your child.

 2) Try to have your child meet the teacher before school starts, or at a minimum, go to the school and take a tour or walk around. If you do get to meet his teacher, try to find something cool to point out about her. Perhaps she shares a common interest with your child. Discuss your child’s expectations of school and correct misconceptions by talking about what the school day will be like and reassure him that you’ll be there at dismissal.

 3) In elementary school most teachers don’t allow toys or stuffed animals in class. Preschoolers can usually take a stuffed animal or blanket for self-comfort. To compensate, pack a surprise in your child’s lunch box or backpack. A note or a picture reminds your child that you love them and that school s just for the day.

 4) If a friend or neighbor’s child has been a student of the teacher, ask that child’s parents if they will have their child speak to yours about the fun activities in that grade. Naturally, try to make sure that the other child had a positive experience in that classroom before speaking to your child.

 5) When the first day of school arrives, it’s the parent’s job to be a help, not a hindrance to the teacher. Bring your child into the room, introduce yourselves to the teacher and then leave quietly without a fuss. Children will quickly pick up on a parent’s fear and apprehension.

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Happy Birthday to Dr. Seuss! On March 2^nd many children celebrated the great works of Dr. Seuss. Here are my three favorite Dr. Seuss books:

1. The Cat in the Hat

2. Green Eggs and Ham

3. Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

( I love to give this book as a gift for graduations.  It’s perfect for all ages!)

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I’ve just started looking at preschools for my daughter to attend next fall.  They all have such structured schedules.  Aren’t kids allowed to just play anymore?

The concern revealed from your question is justified.  There are hundreds of books on the market today that discuss the importance of play in a child’s social, emotional and physical development.  As children engage in free play less often and are less active, a wide range of problems have increased.  Those areas of concern include obvious and easily measurable results such as the lack of general physical well-being and obesity, to more subtle issues such as a loss of creativity, and an inability to socialize and get along with others. 

A good preschool will have both an outdoor recess type of play as well as an indoor play time which may be designated on the class schedule by the terms, centers or station time.  It has long been said that play is a child’s work in which, while acting out various roles, they learn about themselves and their relationship to others.  My favorite play centers for early childhood have always been housekeeping, dollhouse and blocks.  At centers like these children have the opportunity to role play with their peers and engage creatively instead of participating in an adult directed group activity.

 Take another look at the preschools that you like and ask if they have these type centers and how often the children are permitted to use them.   As important as unstructured play is though, arts and crafts and early reading and math readiness skills are also an important part of a good preschool education. Science themes on child friendly topics like bugs and plants, and a Social Studies curriculum that exposes children to types of families and communities that may be different from what they are used to, should round out the curriculum.

 Don’t forget to ask other moms in your area what preschool they like and why.  Word of mouth usually results in the better preschools filling up quickly.  Don’t procrastinate or your child may end up on a waiting list.

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